Whatever dream you decide to go after, whether it is a family or a career goal, you must consciously decide that it is your life’s mission. Benjamin Disraeli said, “The secret of success is constancy to purpose.” You must go at it obsessively and set high standards for yourself along the way. There is no room for compromise when you are charting a course for your life or your career.

I spoke to a group of sharp young people not long ago, and when I finished, some of the fellows came up to me and said they were interested in becoming professional speakers. They invited me to go out with them that evening to have a good time. These fellows looked as though they knew how to have a seriously good time.

I had planned to work on my delivery that night by listening to the audio of my speech. (I record my speeches and listen to them later so I can study what works and what does not work with a particular audience. In effect, I listen to the audience listening to me.)

I was tempted to go with these fellows, and back when I was their age, I probably would have given in to that temptation and gone. But I have become more disciplined and more committed to my craft. A friend of mine, Wes Smith, wrote a humor book called Welcome to the Real World, and in it, he offered advice to fresh high-school and college graduates. He had a line in the book that pertains to the situation I faced that night. It said, “Having a drink with the boys after work every night is a bad idea. Notice that the boss doesn’t do it. That is why he is the boss and they are still the boys.”

Wes told me that he wrote that line with one particular group of hard-partying young businessmen in mind, and five years after the book came out, he ran into one of them. The guy volunteered that he’d read that line in Wes’s book and decided never to go drinking after work again. It paid off, he said. He had risen to a vice presidency at a savings and loan firm.

In my drive to become a public speaker, I developed that kind of focus, too. There is not a lot of time for hard partying if you are pursuing greatness. It was not that these young fellows were not serious about their interest in professional speaking, but that they were just as serious about having a good time. I don’t believe they were focused on their goals. They were seeking a profession, but they were not on a mission to make a dramatic difference in the world. I am. You should be, too.

Rather than the party crowd, I prefer to seek out people with knowledge that might be useful. I like to find out what books successful and intelligent people are reading. I want access to the information that contributes to their success and intelligence.
—Les Brown

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Having confidence means you believe in yourself and that you trust your own judgment and resourcefulness. In his many books on self-esteem, Dr. Nathaniel Branden defines self-esteem as the sum of self-confidence and self-respect. For him, self-confidence is knowing that you have the wherewithal to function reasonably well in the world.

You feel competent to make choices, competent to satisfy your needs, to chart the course for your life. Having confidence in specific situations, such as in gaining influence with someone, flows from a general self-confidence about your ability to meet life’s challenges.

A person who exhibits confidence appreciates a sincere compliment and doesn’t brush it off. A confident person is comfortable giving, and receiving, compliments. He’s also able to handle criticism if it comes his way because he basically likes himself and knows that a single negative incident won’t change that.

Confidence in yourself is built up over time. You can fake confidence, and you may need to at first, but real self-confidence comes from a history of small victories and accomplishments that add up to a sense that you can handle yourself well in most every situation. I suggest you take an inventory of the major accomplishments you’ve achieved over the past few years. Then remind yourself of the minor ones, too. What about the computer course you completed? Have you built anything that’s still standing? What about those kids you’re raising? That’s an accomplishment. Don’t be modest. Tell the truth about how hard you worked and what sacrifices you’ve made. If you can’t think of any, then begin by congratulating yourself for living as long as you have. Sheer survival is an accomplishment these days! Seriously, it pays to take the time to know your strengths and appreciate them. What’s unique about you? What skills do you bring to an organization or project that you can count on?

“Confidence is a fundamental trait for flexibility. It’s hard to be flexible when you’re fearful or easily intimidated. Confidence is indispensable if you want to engage someone’s attention.”

— Dr. Tony Alessandra

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Somebody said you have to love what you do, but that’s not necessarily true. What is true is that you have to love the opportunity—the opportunity to build life, future, health, success and fortune. Knocking on someone’s door or making that extra call may not be something you love to do, but you love the opportunity of what might be behind that door or call.

For example, a guy says, “I’m digging ditches. Should I love digging ditches?” The answer is, “No, you don’t have to love digging ditches, but if it is your first entry onto the ladder of success, you say, ‘I’m glad somebody gave me the opportunity to dig ditches, and I’m going to do it so well, I won’t be here long.’ ”

You can be inspired by having found something, even though you are making mistakes in the beginning, and even though it is a little distasteful taking on a new discipline that you haven’t learned before. You don’t have to love it; you just have to learn to appreciate where you live, appreciate opportunity and appreciate the person who brought you the good news—the person who found you.

Appreciate the person who believed in you before you believed in yourself. Appreciate the person who said, “Hey, if I can do it, you can do it.”

If you will embrace the disciplines associated with the new opportunity, and you will soon find that your self-confidence will start to grow, that you will go from being a skeptic to being a believer. And soon, when you go from person to person, talking to people, you will find it to be the most thrilling opportunity in the world. Every person you meet—what could it be? Unlimited! Maybe a friend for life. The next person could be an open door to retiring. The next person could be a colleague for years to come. It’s big-time stuff. And sometimes, in the beginning, when we are just getting started, we don’t always see how big it is.

So, before you are tempted to give up or get discouraged, remember, all success is based on long-term commitment, faith, discipline, attitude and a few steppingstones along the way. You might not like the stone you are on right now, but it’s sure to be one of the stones that leads to great opportunities in the future.

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There are seven disciplines you must develop if you want to achieve all that is possible for you. You can learn these disciplines through practice and repetition until they become automatic.

Goal Setting
Every morning, take three to five minutes to write out your top goals in the present tense. Get a spiral notebook for this purpose. By writing out your ten goals at the beginning of each day, you will program them deep into your subconscious mind.

This daily goal writing will activate your mental powers. It will stimulate your mind and make you more alert. Throughout the day, you will see opportunities and possibilities to move more rapidly toward your goals.

Planning and Organizing
Take a few minutes, preferably the night before, to plan out every activity of the coming day. Always work from a list. Always think on paper. This is one of the most powerful and important disciplines of all for high performance.

Concentration on your Highest-Value Activities
Your ability to work single-mindedly on your most important task will contribute as much to your success as any other discipline you can develop.

Exercise and Proper Nutrition
Your health is more important than anything else. By disciplining yourself to exercise regularly and to eat carefully, you will promote the highest possible levels of health and fitness throughout your life.

Learning and Growth
Your mind is like a muscle. If you don't use it, you lose it. Continuous learning is the minimum requirement for success in any field.

Time for Important People in Your Life
Relationships are everything. Be sure that in climbing the ladder of success, you do not find it leaning against the wrong building. Build time for your relationships into every day, no matter how busy you get.

Action Exercise
These seven disciplines will ensure that you perform at the highest level and get the greatest satisfaction and results from everything you do. Study these seven disciplines and then make a plan for how you can incorporate each of them into your daily life.

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