Most people think that failure is bad and success is good. I want to help you change your thinking about that if you fall into that category. I will give you that failure isn't fun and success is, but I think the following is true:

Both failure and success are good... if you know what their specific purpose is.

Of course we know that success is good, but why? Success is good because it confirms things for us.

Success confirms our plans.
Success confirms our decisions.
Success confirms our resources.
Success confirms our strategies.
Success confirms our hunches.
Success confirms our teamwork.
Success confirms our risks.
Success confirms a lot of things!


So when you are successful, ask yourself the following question: What does this success confirm in my mind?

Now, what about failure? What is the role of failure and how in the world can it be GOOD?

Failure's role is to teach us. We learn from failure.
Failure teaches us that we need to change our plans.
Failure teaches us that we need to change our decisions.
Failure teaches us that we need to change our resources.
Failure teaches us that we need to change our strategies.
Failure teaches us that we need to change our hunches.
Failure teaches us that we need to change our teamwork.
Failure teaches us that we need to change our risks.
Failure teaches us that we need to change a lot of things!

But at least now we know one more thing that won't work! With every failure, we learn one more way we can abandon and focus in on what may be the correct way in the future! When we look at it that way, we set ourselves up for a powerfully successful future! So when you fail, ask yourself this question: What does this failure teach me? Remember, Success and Failure are both good. They can both be your friend... If you know what role they are to play in your life. Learn From Failure and Confirm with Success.

-- Chris Widener

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There are several different aspects of courage. Perhaps the most important is the courage to endure, to persist, to “hang in there’ in the face of doubt, uncertainty and criticism from others.

Practice Patience in Adversity
This is called “courageous patience,’ the willingness and the ability to “stay the course’ in the face of uncertainty, doubt and often criticism from many quarters.

Stay the Course
In my experience, there is a critical time period between the launching of a new venture and the results that come from that venture. During this hiatus, this waiting period, many people lose their nerve. They cannot stand the suspense of not knowing, of possible failure. They break and run in battle, they quake and quit in business.


The True Leader
But the true leader is the person who can stand firm, who refuses to consider the possibility of failure. The turning points of many key moments in human history have been the resolution, or lack thereof, of one person. Courageous patience is the acid test of leadership.

To encourage others, to instill confidence in them, to help them to perform at their best requires first of all that you lead by example.

Allow Honest Mistakes
The second thing you can do to help alleviate the fears of failure and rejection in others is to encourage them to take calculated risks and allow honest mistakes.

Build People Up
Give the people who look up to you regular praise and approval. Celebrate good tries as well as success, large and small. Create a psychological climate where people feel safe from censure, blame or criticism of any kind. Then do things that make people feel terrific about themselves.

Become Unstoppable
Courage comes from acting courageously on a day-to-day basis. Your personal development goal should be to practice the behaviors of a totally fearless person until you become, in your own mind, unstoppable.

Action Exercises
Here are two ways for you to develop courageous patience.

First, prepare yourself in advance for the inevitable disappointments and setbacks you will experience on the way to your goal. Don't be surprised when they occur.

Second, resolve in advance that you will bounce rather than break and continually encourage others to think and act the same way.

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"Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think." -- Benjamin Disraeli

"The subconscious mind makes no distinction between constructive and destructive thought impulses. It works with the material we feed it, through our thought impulses. The sub-conscious mind will translate into reality a thought driven by fear, just as readily as it will translate into reality a thought driven by courage or faith." -- Napoleon Hill

"By thinking and acting affirmatively in this minute, you will influence the hour, the day, and the time, your entire life." -- Denis Waitley

"Look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation. It's not what they're not doing or should be doing that's the issue. The issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what you should be doing. If you start to think the problem is "out there," stop yourself. That thought is the problem." -- Stephen Covey

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A mother recently given birth a baby girl and planning for their holiday sometimes in July. I have a chance to meet her last week and the baby is so clingy. That reminds me of my son. It is so difficult to travel with a baby.

That is where the strollers comes in. I use travel systems strollers for my baby during our holiday last year. Since our son is so clingy we also brought the baby carrier together with us. Most of the time the baby will be in the stroller but when it's time for breastfeeding I'll use the carrier.

I might consider to buy jogging strollers next time.

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If you ask most people whether they would like to be considered a winner or a loser in life, they would most assuredly reply that they would like to be a winner. But this begs the question, "What does it mean to win at life?" In some things it's easy to define a clear winner. In a basketball game, whoever has the most points at the end of the game is the winner. In a game of hearts, my favorite card game, whoever has the least amount of points when one of the players reaches 100 points is the winner.

But it isn't quite as easy to decide what it means to win in the game of life, is it? And that is because people define winning in different ways. For many, winning is through the accumulation of money or material possessions. "He's a success, a real winner," they say. Others think winning means living the longest. Still others say that it is to have their body in tip-top shape. Some say it is to have a happy family. Some say it is to regularly enjoy their hobbies.

All of these are fine, in and of themselves. But...

I would like to encourage us to think about winning or success in a different way. Generally, people think of winning as the over-achievement in a particular, chosen area. I like to believe, however, that to truly win at life is not to overachieve in one area but to succeed in maintaining balanced achievement in numerous areas.

Let me repeat that: To truly win; to be a success, is not to overachieve in one area, but to maintain balanced achievement in all areas of our lives.

For instance, is a person a success if they earn millions of dollars but lose their family? Is a person a success if they garner national fame but have no friends? Of course not. In fact, they may live the most pitiful of all lives.

First, Define
So the first thing we must do is define what we will consider "winning in life." As you ponder this for yourself, I would like to recommend that you focus in on three overarching areas: Body, Soul, and Spirit.

The body is that which has actual connection with the physical world and would encompass physical health, financial health, family, work, and relationships.

How is your health? How are your finances? Are your relationships, both with your family and others, all that they could be? Is work fulfilling? How would you define winning in these areas?

The next area, the soul, is that which deals with the emotions, will, and intellect. It is our thoughts, ideas, and attitudes.

How are you emotionally? Are you able to exercise your will? Are you growing intellectually? Have you done an attitude check lately? How would you define winning in these areas?

And the spirit is the part of us that transcends this life, the part of us that communes with God. Zig Ziglar said, "Money will buy me a house, but not a home, a bed, but not a good night's sleep." So true. Inner peace comes from something much deeper.

Have you thought about going back to your spiritual roots? Are you able to spend time in quiet, solitude, and prayer from time to time? This is an extremely important area and all too often neglected. What would you like to achieve in this area? How would you define winning in these areas?

As we experience balance in these areas, we will find ourselves much more at peace with ourselves than if we were to experience tremendous success in one area but loss or failure in the other areas. We were designed to work as congruent, balanced people. This is how we get to the end of our lives and say, "I won."

Second, Prioritize
Once you have defined what it is that you would like to achieve in each of these areas, you have to prioritize them, and let other, non-important areas drop off the chart. Commit to developing a plan to succeed in a balance of areas. Exercise your will. Choose. Dwight D. Eisenhower said that "The history of free men is written not by chance, but by choice - their choice."

When we manage our time and schedule, we are simply making choices in regard to our priorities. For most, their priority is to take action on whatever is screaming the loudest at the moment. For those who become winners, they reflect on what they desire to achieve, make a plan and decide to eliminate the rest.

Last, Do it
Okay, you have defined winning. You have prioritized your life. Now, the hard part: Doing it. This is where we are all alone. We all make this step on our own, but having a written plan is as good a preparation as you can get. Rather than saying that you are going to do this for the rest of your life, take the next week to implement your new balance of winning. If a week sounds too long, just focus on today. Spend some time, be it ever so small, enhancing your life in these areas. Exercise a little. Read for a while to challenge your mind. Deal with your emotions. Spend time in silent contemplation to renew your spirit. Give some time to your spouse and children. Will Rogers said, "Even if you're on the right track, you won't get anywhere if you're standing still." There has got to be action.

As we do this over time, and balance our lives out, we will begin to finally feel like we are winning at life. That will be exciting, as will the process!

-- Chris Widener

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Sir Ernest Shackleton was a great explorer who found himself and his crew in a life-or-death crisis when they had to abandon ship in the icy waters around Antarctica.

It was 1914, and Shackleton's expedition had planned an unprecedented land crossing of the frozen continent. When the ship got stuck in the ice and sank, the crew began an unscheduled 18-month survival test. They stayed alive as they moved among the drifting ice floes until they eventually found an island, where they established a camp. When their provisions began to run low, Shackleton and several crewmembers boarded one of their salvaged lifeboats and made a daring 800-mile voyage to a whaling station. They returned with a ship, and all 27 men survived the ordeal.

There are two types of people during a crisis - those who freeze and those who focus. Shackleton might have been stranded in one of the coldest places on the planet, but his creativity never froze. Instead, it was critical to the team's survival.


As I studied Shackleton's experiences, three principles about leading with creativity during crisis came to mind.

1. Creative activity increases creative ability.
As you become active in creativity, you gain more creative ability. Many people would love to have creative ability, but they've never done creative activities. When we freeze, we stop creating. Shackleton practiced "routine" creativity, for himself and for his crew. So when problems presented themselves, he and his crew never gave up on their ability to come up with creative solutions.

2. The rulebook no longer rules.
Everybody wants to give you the rulebook. David Kelley was right when he said, "The most important thing I learned from big companies is that creativity gets stifled when everyone's got to follow the rules." And Thomas Edison, probably the greatest inventor ever, would tell people who visited his laboratory that, "There ain't no rules around here! We're trying to accomplish something." Structure and rules serve us well, but legalism can choke our creative spirit to its death.

3. God is the Great Creator.
It doesn't make sense not to bring God - the Creator of the universe - into the creative process. No matter how much natural talent God has given us, God always can make it greater, better, bigger. That's why I pray for creativity. And when I pray for creativity, I ask for two things - I ask God to give me an idea or give me an example.

In our fast-paced, competitive marketplace, few resources are more valuable to organizations than creativity. But during a crisis, which is when real leadership either rises or falls, creativity often finds itself swallowed by urgency. Who has time to think outside the box when the box is collapsing around you?

Shackleton, however, saw beyond the problems to the big picture. He recognized creativity's importance in keeping him and his crew alive and functioning as a team when they had little margin for error in the bitter cold and isolation of Antarctica. More than a skill, creativity was an attitude in his life that enabled him to find solutions to the obstacles they faced. When others would have frozen - literally as well as figuratively, in this case - Shackleton focused creatively on surviving the crisis.

-- John Maxwell

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"To live in the presence of great truths and eternal laws, to be led by permanent ideals - that is what keeps a man patient when the world ignores him, and calm and unspoiled when the world praises him." -- Honore De Balzac

"It is not what you say you believe that is important, but what you model, encourage, reward and let happen." -- Patricia Fripp

"Companies with clear written statements of values and principles are more dynamic and profitable than those without. People, too." -- Brian Tracy

"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." -- Thomas Jefferson

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When you are courting a nice girl, an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder, a second seems like an hour. That's relativity." Albert Einstein

Chris' Commentary:
Relativity. It is all relative, you know. Some people make more money, some less. Some have better health, some worse. Some better relationships, some worse. There is always someone better or richer, but also not as good or poorer. Is this cause for despair? Not at all. I have actually found that it is quite good for me, this idea of relativity. On one hand, relativity keeps me content. I know when I start to want more just for wanting more's sake, I can look and see that many others do not have the blessings I do. It is relative, and that makes me thankful for what I have - and content. When I start feeling proud for my accomplishments, you know, not the good kind of proud, but the bad side of pride, relativity keeps me humble. There is always someone better than me, someone who has proven they can master the art or the skills better than I. So relativity plays a very important role. It is all in how you choose to look at it.

Action Point: Ask yourself if you tend to have the wrong kind of pride. If so, remind yourself that others have mastered more. This will keep you humble. Are you lacking contentment? Then remind yourself of others who are less fortunate. This will keep you content. Relativity keeps us in a perfect tension that keeps us human, and healthy humans at that.

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You may have heard the story about the analogy of the "circus juggler" to each of us as we try to balance our personal and professional priorities. I have heard the story repeated by many keynote speakers and have used it in previous books, but have never been able to trace the identity of the original author.

When the circus juggler drops a ball, he lets it bounce and picks it up on the next bounce without losing his rhythm or concentration. He keeps right on juggling. Many times we do the same thing. We lose our jobs, but get another one on the first or second bounce. We may drop the ball on a sale, an opportunity to move ahead, or in a relationship, and we either pick it up on the rebound or get a new one thrown in to replace what we just dropped.

However, some of the balls or priorities we juggle don't bounce. The more urgent priorities associated with self-imposed deadlines and workloads have more elasticity than the precious, delicate relationships which are as fragile as fine crystal. Balance involves distinguishing between the priorities we juggle that bounce from the ones labeled "loved ones," "health," and "moral character" that may shatter if we drop them.

The reason I always ask my seminar attendees to list the benefits of reaching their goals is so they can arrange them in the true order of importance to them, and give them a sufficient amount of attention as they juggle them within their time constraints.

Handle your priorities with care. Some of them just don't bounce!

-- Denis Waitley

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